Tag Archives: Leadership

April 29, 2014 · 9:11 pm

Turn MAY into the month of CAN. Know you can. Kick the can. MAYke it a month of I CAN

Remember being a little kid and asking your parent’s something like, “Can I go to the store?” The retort was probably something like, “I don’t know CAN you?” The moral of that story was the all-too-familiar lesson in manners and asking the right question. So, you probably corrected it to be more appropriate for the request. “May I go to the store?” Lesson learned. Your request might have been more about asking permission? Lesson #304 (give or take) was about who is in charge and who grants permission.

But, maybe you really did mean CAN. This Can Concept is about ability. Can is about having the ability to accomplish something. This is our raw ability or our natural talents and skills. We all have a natural ability for something. We might not understand what it is, or maybe it takes us a while to discover our ability because we’re too busy asking if we MAY do something rather than exploring what we CAN do.

Let’s kick the CAN around a bit.  CAN = to able to, having an ability, power, skill, know how, have the means to, have permission

The Gallup organization has created a huge industry around what we CAN do. They call it Strengthsquest. If you haven’t checked out their work you might be interested in seeing what your top FIVE strengths are. Reading their material you will see that

Strength= Naturally occurring patters of thought, feeling, behaviors (Talent) + ability to perform (Skills) + Facts, lessons, Experience (Knowledge)

But knowing our strengths doesn’t do much for us if we are still stuck on this concept of MAY I over CAN I? What is the CAN I piece?

 

This psychologist, Dr. Albert Bandura, has studied and written about some pretty cool things. He talks about social learning theory and some thinking/cognitive theory stuff. But for now let’s explore SELF-EFFICACY.

 

I love the words SELF-EFFICACY. For one reason, it is just plain fun to say. Another reason, in my little mind, is just saying it makes you sound smart. Then if you can use it in a sentence…WHOA.

 

Efficacy. It’s a $5 word for effectiveness or the quality of being successful or producing what you meant to produce. Throw the word SELF in front of it and it seems a little redundant. But your lawn mower can be effective and do its job too, so maybe self really does help as a descriptor.

So SELF-efficacy can be interpreted to mean that I really CAN go to the store. I have the ABILITY to go to the store. I can do this whether you give me permission or not.

I am ABLE.  Done! Boom! Pow!

Self-efficacy is one’s perception about his/her own ability to perform at a certain level or the ability to influence events. This perception is so powerful that self-efficacy has been shown to be a solid predictor of accomplishments based on previous attainments or knowledge. It has been said that the best predictor or future performance is past performance. Imagine that we do it and therefore we realize we can do it…again. BUT, how do we understand that we can do it to begin with?

Here is the cool part – Dr. Bandura studied this and started a whole bunch of people studying it too. He found out that self-efficacy is based on about FOUR things.

Mastery Experience – The fact that you know yourself and what you can accomplish; this is your ability or abilities. Another cool part here is that if you have done something LIKE the anticipated event/activity you can say, “Since I did that…. I can do this!”

Vicarious Experience – We are all surrounded by others doing things. Sometimes we base our ability on a comparison with others. So we think, “Well if he/she can do it, then no sweat I can do It.” or “We have similar abilities, I got this.”

Social Persuasion – having our own set of cheerleaders, mentors, and friends helps to get the encouragement from others to make something happen.

Emotional Arousal – this might get a little tricky for some of us, if we are in an I CAN mood and/or happy, then emotionally we are probably ready to try. If our pity party is in full swing, then maybe not so much. We have to push through and know that we can try. We might have to try again, but TRY it. It is like that other parental game, “you just have to take one bite to see if you really do like it or not. Just try it.”

I think I can… I think I can…I think I can… Remember the book, The Little Engine That Could. Know that our self-efficacy is based on a recipe of about four things. Four things that are mostly in your control.

Take a bite. What will you try today? You have a whole month to practice giving yourself permission (May, 2014) to see that you Can. Stretch your self-efficacy to the LIMITS.

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April 24, 2014 · 5:14 am

Take a bow!

I love the curtain call of play, or really a theater show of any kind. That final culminating event sends a chill down my spine every time. No. It does more than that; I am moved to tears during the curtain call. I have to catch my breath. I cry and gasp a bit for air. It is an odd feeling. I can’t explain it. I don’t even have to know anyone in the show personally.

I can feel the energy and exhilaration from the cast. Their faces penetrate the atmosphere of the theatre. Their collective WE DID IT. WE DID IT AGAIN. I LOVE DOING THIS. Seems to fill the space and touch me deep within that social part of my brain that loves to see people doing what they love.

When someone is doing something out of love and passion, they exude self-confidence. Multiply that times the number of people in the cast and I think we have found the source. That hard work, choreography, synergy, and mutual support add a positive charge to the whole environment. I felt the same way when I was a camp director with my staff. I feel the same way every time I see my students do a presentation or accomplish something good. I love to see the mutual benefits of working together. I get a deep sense of personal pride from the fact that I helped a little in their pride and sense of accomplishment. These have become dynamic positions for me (and markers for my own life) because I get to train, support, and counsel people through a significant growth periods in their lives. I like that connection.

I just read the acknowledgement section of my most recent doctoral student. I cried. She said nice things about me as chair. That was nice to read. BUT it is so much more than that. She acknowledged her community of support and those people who believed in her. I cry every time I re-read the acknowledgements and thanks in my dissertation. All of this hits home for me and reminds me that even in those times we are alone we have “people” that provide support in some way.

I like to think that I approach my job and life’s challenges with an attitude of opportunity and experimentation. Nothing ventured is nothing gained. Learning to be less of a linear thinker and discover how to incorporate a mistake sometimes adds to a project. Being more flexible and open to new possibilities is one of my biggest life lessons. When we work with people, we should realize that from time to time control is almost impossible. All we can control for sure is how we react. If we decide to see what is possible and how we can contribute, it is almost impossible give up. My favorite word is Alacrity. It means: cheerful readiness. Let’s use it in a sentence: We jumped into the project with alacrity. We might add to the group process if we jumped into a project with alacrity an open mind and flexibility.  And, who controls this approach – each one of us.

Permission, now there is a word. Who gives it and when do “they” give it? Who are they? Let’s turn THEY into ME. I can give myself permission. The initial sense of permission has to come from within. We each give ourselves permission to be, do, act, or react to everything. Some days we are comfortable with our own sense of permission, and some days we are not.

If you have been reading some of my posts, you know I like to play with words. Here we go again. Mission. What is your mission? What is it you want to be when you grow up? What is your legacy, your personal mission statement? What do you want people to say about you in the end…or after the end when we aren’t here to hear. Now for the word – Per – it means: for each, for every, by means of, through, by, according to, OR accordance with.

PER – MISSION

What moves you through (i.e., per) life to create your sense of accomplishment? What moves you to tears when you are so damn proud of yourself for doing, being, creating? How do you approach your mission with alacrity?  How do you add to the play/production/project with alacrity? Give yourself permission to live PER your MISSION. Be what you want to be. Go forth and show the world how you approach your mission with alacrity.

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April 15, 2014 · 4:02 am

Baggage or Luggage

You take the good, you take the bad,

you take them both and there you have

The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

 

There’s a time you got to go and show

You’re growin’ now you know about

The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

 

When the world never seems

to be livin up to your dreams

And suddenly you’re finding out

the Facts of Life are all about you, you.

 

It takes a lot to get ’em right

When you’re learning the Facts of Life.

 

What if Tootie, Natalie, Blair and Joe were right? Well, I would guess that Mrs. Garrett had a little something to do with all that learnin’. Sorry for getting that “Facts of Life” theme song into your head for the rest of today, over and over and over again. But, that song came to mind when I was thinking about how we look at things.

The only thing that we can truly control is how we react to something. Regardless of right or wrong, we can choose to focus on HOW we respond to something  versus WHAT happened. Where do we put our energy? Let’s go back to the theme-song-of-the-day for some insight. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the secret to life. In some cases, the good for one could be interpreted as the bad for another. I was recently chatting with a friend about her daughter being added to the transplant list. This transplant is a heart transplant. The hope for another chance, for an additional chance, for a longer chance at a full life for the recipient comes as a loss for the donor (and their family). Her comment was, “one person’s (family’s) joy is another person’s (family’s) sorrow.” Sure, there would be some happiness and joy that would come from the donor family’s sense of giving and seeing their loved one giving a tremendous gift; but, it comes with impact.

How we look at “Event A” determines our emotion, outlook and perspective. At times that pertains to the situation at hand, and in some cases; it may truly be our pattern or current theme in life. On nights when I just can’t get to sleep or I don’t sleep well I tend to think, “Well on the bright side I will sleep well tomorrow night.” One of the reasons I can’t sleep is because I am so irritated that I can’t get to sleep that all of my energy is wrapped up in the fact that I will be tired the next day. In many cases, I have to watch TV to distract my brain from what it is that I am so worked up about to allow myself to fall asleep. Most of the time I fall asleep to M*A*S*H, I have seen the shows countless times so I can name that episode in 3-seconds after the theme song ends.

I read somewhere –what we resist persists. Letting go is probably the answer in many things that happen to us on a daily basis. Hey, I think they call that forgiveness. When we forgive something then we release the other from the negative energy, AND (more importantly) we move it out of all that space in our brain/consciousness that it is consuming. Our hard drive space is unlimited, but the gears that run the whole thing can just get tired.

We can focus on the WHAT happened (or is happening to us) or we can just focus on WHAT WE CAN LEARN from this. It is our perspective – or outlook, or angle, or point of view, or prospect. Our lives consist of the cumulative effect of who we are and what we have become in life. We take the good we take the bad. An example I like to use is baggage and luggage. We ALL have both. We pack this stuff around with us EVERYWHERE we go. Our baggage is all that stuff we are afraid of. It is the stuff we don’t particularly like others to know about us. It could be our skeletons in closet, our dark side, etc. Hiding that gets laborious. Our luggage is all the stuff WE WANT people to see/know. These are the war stories we tell over and over (to the same people in some cases). These are the successes, our wins, and our championships that we are proud. BUT, our baggage is never far away. Baggage and luggage, we have both. Most of the time it looks damn good, it is a matched set. What is your baggage you could release? What could you forgive? Is there something you could forgive yourself? It takes a lot to get ’em right, When you’re learning the Facts of Life.

Theme song source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/ (seasons 2-5)

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April 5, 2014 · 9:30 pm

We never really get away from multiple-choice tests in life

What do you see?

What do you see?

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

How often to we approach our little part of the world as a series of “I-just-gotta-get-through-this and then I can -” Have you caught yourself promising yourself, the gods, the universe that as soon as I get through this project I will be all caught up and I can focus on life in general.

Hmmmmm maybe resolutions are not just for breakfast anymore, or New Years Day for that matter. It seems as if every few weeks some of us set our To Do list aside and adopt a “Resolution of the Month (or week or day) club.”

Maybe I am the sole serial resolutioner in the world. Anyone? Anyone?

How do you see the world around you? When you look around and see the things that are going on around you where does your focus and energy go?

  1. With my luck, what else could go wrong?
  2. That was a great learning experience, NEXT
  3. When will the other shoe drop?
  4. Wow look what I did. Tah-Dah!
  5. When will they realize they hired the wrong person?
  6. I got this!
  7. Other _________________________
  8. More _________________________

So, did you choose something from the odd numbered grouping or the even numbers? How do you see your life and your ability in the world? Is it from a position of LACKING something (odd numbers) or from an ABUNDANT paradigm (even numbers)? There are times that we can realize that we made a wrong decision or that a current idea might not have been our most brilliant approach to the world, that happens from time to time. Our value isn’t wrapped up in the fact that we made a wrong decision. Perhaps we should revel in the fact that we made a decision and had some movement rather than fretting and worrying about the outcome and missing out on an opportunity or just motion of any sort.

Atrophy stinks. If you have ever had a broken bone or sprained something and you have had to have a limb in a cast think of what it looks like (and maybe even the stale odor that wafts out) when you remove the cast. So, move something. Move anything. Move everything. If you make a wrong move, FIX IT. Duh! I read in Covey’s book on seven habits many years ago – People don’t FAIL, they QUIT. Apathy is quitting.

We have an opportunity to look at everything from many (or maybe 2) different vantage points. Take the bar code (image) in the beginning of this post. They don’t call them Universal Product Codes (UPC) for nothing. These ubiquitous patterns are everywhere, everyday. When you first look at it what do you see? Do you see a series of black stripes of various sizes with some numbers in a variety of patterns along the bottom? Yeah. Sure. That is what it could be. OR perhaps you see a series of white stripes of various patterns peaking out at you over those numbers at the bottom. Whether your description was the black stripes or the white stripes isn’t the real point at all. Both are correct. Actually maybe the answer is (c.) All of the Above.

The point of the UPC conversation is that there are more ways to the answers than we sometimes think about. Particularly when we are in the midst of moving from one series of resolutions and/or projects to the next, life is more than preparing for one 100-yard dash to the next.

I have had the blessings of several mentors in my life. One of those cherished individuals along my journey was my adviser and marketing professor. He taught me two important things that I have used almost daily since my undergraduate days. Maxim #1 – The product is what the consumer thinks it is, nothing more. Two key words stick out here that some will read and say – oh, I don’t sell anything so this does not apply to me. Those words are: product and consumer. I SUBMIT, to all who might think this way, which is faulty thinking. We have to stop and think for a minute what is the PRODUCT and who is/are CONSUMER? We all sell something. If you are looking for a job or a promotion…guess what YOU are the product and the consumer is the committee deciding your fate. Feel free to fill in your own products and consumer words along the way. Maxim #2 – Perception is everything. If, our audience (i.e., spouse, partner(s), students, boss, target audience, etc) has a skewed picture of what you are presenting or offering you are stuck with their misinformation and no deal is struck.

What is your perception of your own life and ability? Do you approach from a lacking perspective or are you more of an abundant person? When you work with others, do you help them see their own abundant being? What’s the perception of your products?

 

“Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it.”  – Irving Berlin

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – CC Jung

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March 20, 2014 · 3:15 pm

I is me and I can be for we

Two of my favorite poems (or sayings) are by Jewish religious leaders. I like them because they remind me of the fact that I need to be my own person, but my actions are so intertwined with who I am and what I do that it is hard to not have an impact on those around me.

The first is by Rabbi Mendel of Kotzk (1787-1859). I found various versions of this saying, but I am presenting it here as I learned it.

If I am I, and you are you; then I am I and you are you.

But if I am I because you are you, and you are you because I am I, then I am not and you are not.

First, I like this because saying it and listening to it is a little like watching a tennis match. You have to keep your eye on the ball as it volleys back and forth from “I” to “you.” It is fun to listen to and a bit of a brain twister as you are trying to make sense of it. I like the pure simplicity of it as well. I know, bouncing “I” back and forth nine times with one hand and bouncing “you” to and fro with the other hand at first is not really the definition of simplicity. It’s the literary version of patting your head and rubbing your tummy.  But, there are only 11 different words used here in a 41-word stanza.

Think about what it means. “I am I” is that I am my own person with my own agenda doing my own thing. It is up to each of us to define and delineate who we are in the world. The word “I” is always capitalized in the English language (not necessarily in all other languages) as a reminder of our own self-importance to ourselves. Our own self-confidence and self-concept is important to the creation of our values, attitudes and beliefs. The “you are you” piece is the recognition of this I concept for all people. I gotta be me and you gotta be you. It is ok that we maintain our I-ness side by side, but in the end, we are responsible for ourselves. Doesn’t the Cher song say that in the end we all sleep alone?

So, having made the case that we are responsible to and for ourselves it would seem that we are being a little self-centered here. This is where my other favorite saying from these two Jewish leaders steps as a complement. I was visiting Edinburgh, Scotland one year. It was my first day and jet lag, and the fact that the sun was up at 4 in morning made me a little restless. I got up and ran. I ran by the Jewish Center and on the sign in front was this next saying. I stopped to memorize it and then ran back to the B&B and wrote it in my journal. It was a saying of Rabbi Hillel (110 BCE-7CE):

If I am not for myself, who is for me?

And if I am for myself alone, what then am ‘I’?

And if not now, then when?

I like this because, I think, he is saying that we need to stand up for ourselves and have a sense of our own identity and values. We have to make our way in the world and we have to tell people who we are, because, really who will do this for us? At the same time that we have to have the chutzpah to take a stand for ourselves we have to remember the world doesn’t revolve around us alone. If we don’t remember the others in our world, the world around us, and the collective then what are we really? Perhaps just a selfish (insert your own pejorative comment here) that is only out for ourselves.  Finally, when are we going to start this? I just saw a Facebook picture post that said, “There are 7 days in a week and someday isn’t one of them.”

So perhaps I will try my own literary volley

And now I see that I gotta be me to contribute to the we.

And you can toss in a few to do what you can do.

Then together we can say that I am I is not an alibi

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March 14, 2014 · 5:06 pm

My Grandma always said

My grandma had a saying for everything; I guess that comes with being a grandparent eh? Some of them were just funny (funny ha-ha and funny quirky). She was quite the performer too. She could tell a story, dress up, do a skit, and perform at a moments notice for those at the dinner table or a crowd of a hundred. She could pull up a prop and get into character at the drop of a…well a napkin, let’s go with that. When she was waiting for something she would say, “It won’t be long now, said the monkey when the train ran over it’s tail.” When you asked if she would like to more to eat her response was classic, “Oh, I have had an elegant sufficiency, anymore would be superfluity.” Yep superfluity is a word, (noun, superabundant, excessive amount). Now I don’t know if all of these sayings were original, or if she borrowed them from somewhere else. In my world, she is a God. Oh, she would not like that analogy at all, well at least a Minor God, or maybe just a Saint. Suffice it to say she was/is pretty important to me so if she said it, then she gets the byline on life’s references page.

One of the things she would say is, “I can do anything I want to do.” As kids we would challenge her, “Ok, fly!” Her response was simply, “I don’t want to.” With this great laugh that I can hear to this day, and a twinkle in her bright blue eyes. Ah, to be with my Gram again! As kids, my brothers and cousins, we would just laugh. She was grandma and said funny stuff all of the time. As I grew older and started to think more about this, she was really teaching us something very important. We CAN do anything we want to do. We do have the ability to set our attention and intention to make things happen. She certainly did this in her own work as a seamstress/decorator. Her customers would come to her and describe a room setting, or whatever they wanted created in their homes. She would draw a picture of the description, which is amazing as a story already. THEN, she would make the vision without a pattern. Her customers would say the picture was better than they had imagined, and the final product was more than perfect. She could do anything she wanted to do. She said it. She believed it. She did it.

Recently I heard a presentation by Dr. Vincent Harding, a friend and confidante of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He was talking about a book that he wrote with Daisaku Ikeda, America will be! The title comes from a Langston Hughes poem. Dr. Harding said, “Our dreams are only a fraction of what we can do. Our lifetimes are only a fraction of what we can dream.” I tried to find if he was quoting Hughes again. I couldn’t find a poem that used these lines. But, this line reminded me of my gram’s “I can do anything” axiom. The truth is, our ability is largely untapped. If you could do anything you set your mind to, what would it be? What have you created and completed from just your thoughts? Truly, the answer to that is EVERYTHING, since all of our actions were thoughts first then carried out. We do have the ability to do anything we want. What do you want to do? When will you start?

I will leave you with two Langston Hughes poems I did find.

DREAMS

Hold fast to dreams

For if dreams die

Life is a broken-winged bird

That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams

For when dreams go

Life is a barren field

Frozen with snow.

And, this one reminds us to live NOW.

“Life is for the living.

Death is for the dead.

Let life be like music.

And death a note unsaid.”

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March 6, 2014 · 5:11 am

Consider CO-incident versus a coincidence

Plain and simple….I don’t believe in coincidence. I believe that everything happens for a reason and IF we look into the situation at hand we can learn something it. Before I go on, let me soothe any that might have a Pollyanna (this-is-too-much-positivity-for-me) alert going off right about now. I don’t believe that EVERYTHING that happens has epiphany status nor do I think we will have major discoveries every single day. Simply put, our lives are both the sum total and the result of the energy generated by our thoughts and work

But…As I said…I don’t believe in coincidence.  By coincidence, I mean a fluke, an accident, or just dumb luck (I realize that dumb luck is highly scientific, forgive my pompous use of technical terms). Having said all of this, let’s look at coincidence from a different perspective.

Co – (according to my favorite app of all – dictionary.com) is a prefix that when attached to a word it is can be an “auxiliary subsidiary.” It complements (which is to say it accompanies or harmonizes with) the first word.  I like this CO thing so far.

Incident – Aptly (or perhaps App-ley) speaking this is an individual occurrence or an event. This episode or a piece of the action somehow fits into the story of our lives. An incident occurs in connection with something else, or somehow pertains to an event or a series of events. The family tree of the word incident has quite a history. In 1412 incident occurred casually with some thing else. 1462 it was an event viewed as a separate condition. Jumping to 1925 it came to be used to say, “by the way.” As in, by the way I don’t believe in coincidence.

So now, we have the Co to the incident that makes the party of the first part (i.e., Co-) somehow influencing the party of the second part (i.e., incident). Wait, wait, wait, that probably confuses things even more. J Maybe a diagram will help. Coincident Pic

The solid line connects CO with the INCIDENT showing that to which we refer as the EVENT. The dotted line shows the other incident that was viewed as a separate condition (a la 1462) that has some energy or impact on the complementary event. Thus (b) could be the precipitating event that has some meaning for the main event.

Our actions create energy and have an impact on our lives and those we interact with every day. What we think about has an impact on our actions. We are what we think about. We are what we give attention and energy. I read somewhere (a long time ago) that it takes 7 years to make an overnight success. Our success doesn’t happen through coincidence, it happens by focus and creating a series of events in our lives. Our inner ability drives our momentum.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, 
 Your words become your actions, 
 Your actions become your habits, 
 Your habits become your values, 
 Your values become your destiny.”   -Mahatma Gandhi

The Chinese character for LUCK is the COmbination of opportunity and preparation. The CO-incidence of how we prepare and focus complements opportunity.  Chinese LUCK Symbol

The incidents we create and insert in our way complement the present and the future events that will happen by CO-incidence. Some state lottery slogan is, “ya gotta play to win.” The incidents we create every day are those complementary auxiliary subsidiary events that will influence more events. Karma is action, it’s cause and effect. What effect have you caused?  For yourself? For others? How’s that working for you?  I hope it is working well…..

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February 27, 2014 · 12:36 am

Liminal space -That position between HERE and WHERE?

What’s in the liminal space?

This threshold of hesitation in my face

Now is the time to seek and wait,

while things can happen according to fate.

In this time of transition,

we control these options within our position.

Hold tight, I will connect my poetry preface within….

Like most people, (I would assume) I’ve had the Olympic fever for the last couple of weeks. I cheer for sports and events that I don’t typically (make that – ever) watch, but my American-ness calls out to me. Throughout the games, the athletes are always asked if they will be making a run for the NEXT games. At times, this is to inquire if they will do this to maintain their medal and position as an Olympian. Other times it seems consoling (to the athlete and the fans) about not performing at their peak by medaling. In case you are wondering there are about 1444 days until the next Winter Olympics in 2018 (theolympicgamescountdown.com). This thought about the next 1444 days started me to think about where I would be at that time. How will I “train” during these days, and how what have I done over the last Olympic quad (that’s Olympics-speak)?

The concept of liminal space occurred to me. Until about a year ago I had no idea about this concept of liminal space.  A friend was telling me that, at the time, I was in this space. He continued to tell me that “they” (that ethereal committee that seems to make a ruling on everything) say this is the best place to me. Back to my introductory verse…this liminal word comes from the Latin for threshold.  It’s that space between the chapters, like that half to three-quarters of blank space at the end of chapter X before the start of chapter Y on the facing page.  It is the period of transition, waiting, and not knowing. That point that can make us feel uneasy about what’s going to happen, but we aren’t really sure.  Even when we KNOW what is going to happen this liminal space can be a little disconcerting.  I think it is safe to say that human behavior causes us to “expect the worse” and prepare for “the other shoe to drop” rather than just letting go and knowing that the right thing will happen for our future.  I will quote my grandma here, she said, “everything happens for a reason.”  My personal approach to life is there’s no such thing as coincidence, stuff happens for a reason. Not all reasons are mind numbing or earth shattering, but nevertheless they are reasons.

Back to the concept of our ability to handle this waiting-transition-not-knowing gap that will likely occur over the next 1,445 to 14,450 days of our lives. As Mary Morrissey says, “if we breathe for another 365 days we will create another year in our life.” And the truth is we really want that to happen. The liminal spaces in our lives are GOOD…we WANT them…we NEED them to occur. William Bridges (Managing Transitions, 1991) has a 3-step model for these changes – (1.) Ending, letting go, (2.) Neutral Zone, (3.) New beginnings. If we don’t stop or let go of some things can we really make a change?  That neutral zone is LIMINAL SPACE.  Finally, our next chapter and forward movement is in number three. Seth Godin says in Linchpin, “Every single person, has been a genius at least once…if you can do it one time you can do it again” (p. 99).

Look at it this way – our liminal space is LIMITLESS. Each of us has the ability to handle the transition. Everything is a thought before it becomes an action. Tune your intention on building more of, and a better you. Welcome the change and make it work for you. What was your last threshold? What will you do with your next neutral zone?

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February 6, 2014 · 4:49 pm

Power and Influence literacy

Power seems to always go the route of power differential, or someone having power over someone.  We could see it as a loss of personal power and surrendering to the influence of others. Perhaps just improving our Power/Influence literacy would help understand, exert, and respond to power.

We know there are types of power (based on 2 scholars French & Raven) –

Expert – a certain expertise based on information and knowledge.  “Knowledge is power” is more than a cliché…or perhaps it is a cliché…but never-the-less true.

Referent – role models, master/apprentice relationship, or someone we like and respect is afforded power.

Legitimate –power that comes with a role, position, responsibility regardless of the actual person.

Reward – is the privileges one can grant or the “if you’re good you get stuff” approach.

Coercive – is punishment or negative reinforcement.

There is a little more behind the word power than trying to deal with the types and continuum of influence – regardless of delivery or recipient.

I was curious about the Power equation in order to understand the topic, an interesting exercise. Power looks like this  Pavg = DW/Dt. Cool stuff, eh?

This might help.

The average power is equal to the change in Work (or Energy) over a certain amount of time. Change in work (let’s just call this energy) is the experience itself. And all of this is going to happen over time, a change from start to finish. This results in average power. Think about this for a minute. The type of power that one exerts (or experiences) could be a combination of the five types, or some variation that averages out the power experience (energy) during some time frame. To the naked eye, it’s just power. Power takes time and depends on the energy (good or bad) we give it.

Power. The dictionary calls it the “ability to do or act.” Synonyms for power are capacity or energy. Capacity is that word ability again. And energy we already defined as work, or actions we exert in some fashion. If everything is a thought before it is an action the same has to be true with power.  We have the ability to use our powers for good (and I did try to figure out where this quote came from, but couldn’t find the absolute source). Booker T. Washington said, “Character is power.”

So, we have the influence of power OR the power of influence. Each of us has the ability to determine the amount of influence we exert. The energy, force, or momentum (all parts of power) of our influence is directly related to our average power over time. When we see x2,even if we hated math/algebra, we know it is x-squared. That number (2 here) is power. Here x is the number times the number. That means it is way more than just double. It is like a whole extra person exerting the same energy toward someone or group. That has the potential to be overwhelming or excruciating.

Another quote, this one is from Abraham Lincoln, “Nearly all men [women] can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s [woman’s] character, give him [her] power.” So we have a lot of power when it comes to power….did that make sense?  And we haven’t even started to talk about the power we have over ourselves through self-talk – oh wow! that’s another post all together.

There is so much more to power than just an ability to get people to do what you want.  How do you use your POWERS for good to create influence and build capacity?

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January 21, 2014 · 4:42 pm

For All Intents and Purposes -Intentionality

Intention – there is something about this word.  Just saying the word, intention, and sort of sounds like “in tension.”  There could be something to this tension thing.  Think about the times we are intent.  Something has our attention.  There’s a focus in an effort to accomplish something.  Interesting the Latin origin, intentio, and means stretching purpose.  We are stretching out and leaning toward something that has our attention.  Recently I have been reading about Sheryl Sandberg’s concept of “leaning in” (thanks to my doc student for studying ideas and situations close to this meaning).  Some of what she is talking about her is really a stretching purpose.  Leaning into our purpose and stretching to create our purpose and get the job done.  Using the word as an adjective to modify other words we find similar meanings to being very attentive, eager, waiting, strained.  All of these seem to work for this word, and derivatives, intention (i.e., intentionality, intentional, intend).

How do you model intention or act with intentionality?  There are probably different ways to look at how to be intentional.  Some might call it prayer, meditating, chanting, focus, concentration.  Our ability to create and be innovative always starts with a thought.  We start to think about our goal or purpose.  We start to ruminate or “play with the idea” to build something we want to accomplish.  Our intentions can be seen as a goal, a purpose, aims, and vision.

Saying, “for all intents and purposes” starts to put this into action.  We are constructing how to get moving and stretching our purpose into action.  Getting to the point of moving toward our thoughts and ideas takes some initiative.  Moving toward our goals and purpose can be tough.  There might be some fear about stretching and leaning toward our intents and purposes.  In his book, Tribes, Seth Godin says that initiative = happiness.  I like it.  It is simple and poignant.  Doing something makes us happy.  He also says later in the book, “If your organization requires success before commitment, it will never have either” (p. 132).  Perhaps the directive, “just do it” is more than a slogan.

Two final quotes to help bring this home for now, I know I know what is the intent of this post…right?  Thoreau said, “The price of anything is the amount of life that is exchanged for it.”  What’s your intention?  What purpose have you been thinking about?  How can we create cause and effect and move from intents to purpose?  The last quote was one I saw on the sign in front of the Edinburgh Jewish Center – “If I am not for myself, who is for me, but if I am for my own self [only], what am I?  And if not now, when?”  Thanks Rabbi Hillel for reminding us about our ability, the fact that ego is important, and don’t forget that we aren’t in this alone.  Actions have reactions, and those matter too.

So, what does your intentional mind saying to you today? Where is your intentional mind guiding you?  If not now then when?

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